the Senorita | Discovering Her

Isn’t that one of the most spoken about questions? The unsaid rule of nature is that women generally talk more than men and that is a very important reason to why I am able to spend 8 hours nonstop in my institute without getting bored. Several guys, sometimes, tend to get fed up of this behavior leading to a relationship that slowly looses its charm. Instead, if guys knew why women talk so much then certain problems won’t ever show up.

Problems appear, when men aren’t in the mood to talk, but women continue to speak. She does not seem to understand what he wants at that time, and the situation will keep moving from bad to worse. In such cases, the guys will have to understand why she is so eager to talk.

Ever analyzed the situation when you talk more than normal? You do that to collect information or to convey thoughts. Women aren’t different from you. Whenever they want to convey their thoughts or collect information, they talk.

Another reason for talking too much is when she is trying to deal with a state of confusion. When most men are confused about something, they go into their bunkers and stop talking for a while. On the contrary, women talk more to discover what it is that she is confused about?

When men are upset they go into their hideouts to cool off, while women love to share their problems. They start searching for someone who they can talk to about their problems. She feels better and that feeling of loneliness dies down once she shares those problems.

Men go silent when they want to get to know themselves better, whereas women share their feelings to discover their inner self. Men are afraid that too much company can rob them of themselves; while sharing everything out loud is the way a female will discover herself.

Now let me get back to the practical example, which I pointed out earlier in this article. Revert back to those moments when you weren’t in the mood to talk; yet she was constantly speaking. You know why? Just because you weren’t speaking. For a female sharing thoughts with the right person is the easiest way to feel comfortable, and when men go silent an insecurity of sorts creeps up. This feeling of insecurity compels her to talk even more.

Next time when you get the feeling that she is talking too much, tell yourself that there is some reason behind it: either she is confused at something, she is feeling lonely, she is trying to gather information, she is trying to convey her thoughts or maybe she is just trying to discover herself. Plus, do add the last point, she might be feeling insecure because you aren’t talking.

So from today don’t be angry with her because she talks too much. Instead, try to understand the motives behind the behavior. Be patient with her, and this will enhance understanding between the two of you.

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What is the most common factor between boxing, wrestling, and karate? At the end of the game they leave the players suffering with some intense pain. There is the body pain by courtesy of the various blows they received throughout a match, but also the mental pain due to the prospect of losing and disappointing themselves as well as their supporters. But did you ever see those players put an end to their game in order to run away from the fears of feeling pain? No! So, does this mean they don’t feel anything at all? Again, the answer is no. Instead, the loss sends through them a new driving force to make them work harder, and achieve more the next time they get a chance inside the ring.

Our bodies are empty pots and we are the ones who teach it to function in any particular manner. It is you who teaches yourself to bear the pain or let it overwhelm you. It is you who teaches yourself to cry (or grieve) when in pain. Get the point? You are responsible for your own behavior and you have got full control on your behavior.

Similarly, you teach yourself to give up once you lose your love. You stop eating, you stop being a part of gatherings, and you stop smiling just because a girl left you. Meanwhile, that girl is busy enjoying her life with someone else.

Did you ever try to find out why things did not work out? Ever tried to jot down those reasons? If no, then you are bound to loose over and over again, and the unfortunate bonus is that the pain will always remain an integral part of your life. (We have discussed this in earlier articles of ours and we will throw more light on it later on too.)

For now, make a note of one thing: pain is nothing. You lost, and you started grieving just because you wanted to. But why? If the relationship didn’t work out then that just means there is someone else out there to understand you, and be a better partner for you than the one who left you. Remember that the world will remain with you until you keep smiling, but once that smile turns upside down you might be left very lonely. So analyze your mistakes (not understanding her is also a mistake) and gear up for the next match.

Once you learn to overcome your fear of loosing, and therefore feeling pain, believe me, you won’t be afraid of loosing her anymore. This way, you will start focusing on how to make her happy instead of holding on to her tight (just because you are afraid of the pain which you feel IF you loose her.)

In the end, it is all about making her feel more comfortable, and by succeeding in that you just minimized your chances of making her run away from you. Stop thinking about loss, pain, and their consequences, and start thinking about yourself and your future. Remember, you can either sit back and succumb to adversity, or you can stand up and fight back.

Although the usual flowers, cards, or candle light dinners could be useful to bring a smile on a girl’s face, trying something unique can help you paint your own portrait in her brain quite instantly.

So here goes the list of ideas which can be used to leave a mark on your girl’s mind. But remember NEVER to overdo it. It’s pretty simple… just follow the K-I-S-S principle.

“Keep It Simple, Stupid.”

Many guys might think of trying something very unique, which might not be listed here, or other similar articles. Trying your own style, or learning from someone else are great decisions also; either way shows that you care and that is what matters.

1) Your Own 4 Liners

Take your time. Find a peaceful place and try to write few lines especially for her. Believe me if I can write 4 liners, then you are much better than me. Write those 4 lines on a self designed greeting card and leave it where she easily finds it (NOT where she easily finds it the day after…)

2) Flowers with a difference

Many people prefer gifting red roses to girls on V-Day. While there isn’t anything wrong with that, a touch of difference to gifts is always a better idea. How about adding one white rose in the bunch of red roses? Tell her that in his group of people there is one person who is stands out, and for you it’s her!

3) No Work on Valentine’s Day Please

You wait for national holidays so that you get a free day… and you work on Valentine’s Day. Why? Take leave from work on that special day and spend it completely with her.

4) Valentine’s Day ‘Cake’

You buy birthday cakes, then why not a Valentine’s Day cake? Give it a try this year.

5) Got full pockets?

If yes, then hire a limousine and make the day special. Are you looking for Diamond Jewelry or maybe engagement rings or that perfect gift for that special someone? Then check out the spectacular diamonds we have!

6) Add the category ‘Romance’ in your budget

While you enjoy the day with her, start talking about your budget, and add the category ‘Romance’ in it. Fill the category with any romantic plans for the rest of the year. This is surely going to raise her expectations.

7) Bribe your kids

Are you already married and have kids who love to be a hindrance to your love life? Buy a set of DVDs, lots of popcorn and a number of soda cans. Now while the kids enjoy movies, you two can skip to your room for a special celebration ‘under cover.’

8 ) Treasure Hunt

Create a list of hints, one helping her to get to another. Let her do the searching and watch the excitement build up. Try and create hints that relate to your relationship and past memories. This will help you bring back those memories.

9) Code ABC

Create a list of gifts with names starting from A, B, C till Z. Write the alphabets A to Z on various pieces of paper and leave them on visible places around the house. Give her the gifts as per the alphabets which she hits upon.

10) Name Game

Search for the meaning of her name. Then, search for some famous personalities with that same name, and all their extraordinary involvements. Write the meaning of the name in calligraphic writing on the top and the list of names and their achievements under it. Arrange for a colored print out, which catches her eye and give it to her. Let her know that even her name matters to you.

11) Story Telling

As the day passes, discuss with her the small happenings of your past. Believe me you will cherish those moments.

12) Songs Which She Loves

Burn a list of songs that make you think of her, and your relationship with her. Wrap the CD with some glossy paper and tie it with a bow.

13) Gems OR Gadgets? Why Not Both!

Buy a pink or silver heart shaped luxurious USB drive pendant which will hold 1GB of her docs.

14) E-Book Instead Of Book

This month Sony is dressing up its Sony Reader with a “Cross Your Heart” vinyl skin, and throwing in 14 Harlequin Romance novels that are not yet available in print. If your lady likes to curl up in bed with a good romance novel, this Harlequin bundle may be your ticket to her heart.

15) A Gift From Microsoft

Microsoft was the first to announce its special 80GB red Zune that includes your choice of laser-etched artwork on the back. You’ll be able to choose between 20 designs, and further personalize the player with special playlists and wallpaper. Apple announced its 8GB pink iPod nano last week, which will no doubt be a big seller even after Valentine’s Day.

16) A Pink BlackBerry

Chatting online is great when you’re still in a very new relationship, but why not take your relationship to the next level? This year, surprise her with a fashion handset like the Pink Blackberry Pearl 8130 or the pink LG Venus.

17) Clock With A Difference

Clocky may not be the most exciting gift on Valentine’s Day, but it could be the most fun. If her New Year’s Resolution was to stop being late, then she’ll get a kick out of this alarm clock. Clocky rolls off the nightstand after the snooze button has been hit a few times, and rolls around the floor looking for a place to hide. To make snoozing even more difficult, the mischievous alarm clock rotates its body as it tries to hide the snooze button. Its sole purpose is to get her out of bed in a fun way, and to work or school on time. Nanda Home is now selling a Raspberry Clocky to celebrate Valentine’s Day.

18 ) Watch Movies Of Her Choice

Those who are tired of doing the same stuff again and again need to read this. Take her to a movie rental store and split up. You choose your selection and let her select hers. Then, watch those movies together with full interest. Do remember to arrange for some soda and popcorn in advance.

19) Ask her

Again, if you have been doing the same for too long then sit with her and frankly ask her what she wants. And mind you, do not adjust with the gift. Do it the way she wants it to be done.

20) Wrap up the pending tasks

I am very sure that she might have been asking you to run many errands. Make a list of those and finish them off. This might seem small, but for a woman who sees those tasks as one less thing for her to do, this a nice gift: the gift of change.

21) Write down your feelings

Why not re-live those days of romance and write a love letter once again. You don’t need to be a great writer for this. Just thank her for being a part of your life and tell her how important she is to you. Ask her to do the same and see some hidden feelings flow out.

22) Story Telling

Convert your love life into a bed time story and tell her that story just like a mom reads out a bed time story to her kid.

23) Get Your Past Printed

If you are good at drawing then create cartoons and relate them to your love life. If that isn’t possible then pay someone to do this for you. Your story, your idea in the form of a comic strip or book will do wonders.

24) Get an ASCII Art Printed for Her

Search for “ASCII Art” in Google. Create an ASCII art of her image and give it to her personally or through email.

25) A Movie of Your Confessions

Create a movie of your confessions. Record what you like in her and any other stuff which you want to share. Tell her how important she is to you and if possible shed some tears too.

26) Hidden Meaning

Arrange for a pen which shines in black light. Write down love messages in her room when she is away. This way you won’t make the walls dirty, and when she comes in she will see those messages only with that black light. Read “Da Vinci Code” by Dan Brown for details of such a pen.

27) A Coupon Book

Create your own coupon book and fill it with exciting gifts. In return of every coupon you give her a gift or do something for her.

28 ) Plant A Tree

Plant a tree and make a small sign board which sits near the tree saying who the tree was planted for.

29) A Dinner Chain

Ask other couples to take part and one by one all couples go to the other couples home and enjoy some appetizers. This will last for the complete evening and you will find a chance to enjoy time with your friends too.

30) Why I Love You Messages

Write down “Why I Love You” messages on many pieces of papers and hide them on various places around the house. Please hide them so that she easily finds them while doing her daily chores.

31) Heart shaped Pizza Instead Of Cake

Instead of the regular chocolate heart shaped cake why not give her a heart shaped pizza?

32) Kick The T.V. Out

Remove the TV out of your bedroom and spend the whole day with her in your bedroom. For the unmarried the idea is to spend the complete day with her ONLY. Please see to it that there is no one else to disturb.

33) Use Red Chopsticks

Try this once. Red color is always responsible to accelerate the blood flow, and this is scientifically proven. Eat slowly and enjoy the moment.

34) Let Your Pet Remind Her In Advance

Tie a red ribbon or a similar signal to your or her pet to remind her that valentine’s day is coming.

35) Circle 14th February

Circle the day 14th Feb on her calendar and ask her friends in her office (or school) to do the same on calendars around her. Just an early signal that you haven’t forgotten.

36) Enjoy Some Live Music

Look out for some band which will be performing live on 14th Feb in an area near you. Enjoy the music and a dinner after that.

37) Toss The Coin And Shoot A Romantic Dare

Toss coins and the winner gets the chance to shoot romantic dares to the partner which the partner needs to execute any way they can. Ask her some tricky questions which she might want to answer but is afraid to talk about. Now you know how to go cheesy with this game.

38 ) Examination Time

Ask her to prepare a question paper which has questions about her likes and dislikes. Then answer those questions and agree upon a deal to give her a gift of her choice for every wrong answer. Better know her well before playing this game.

39) The Name Game

For the complete Valentine’s week, think of 7 different names and each day call her with one particular name. Tell her that you will give her a gift of her choice whenever you fail to call her with the name which you had thought about. Make the names such so that they tingle her thoroughly and others don’t understand what you mean.

40) Stones to Show Your Emotions

Stones could well be appreciated by your girl friends. Rubies are the best choice for showing your love and passion. The deeper the red, the deeper your love. To show your profound friendship, choose a piece which includes an emerald or peridot.

41) Gift Her Childhood Back To Her

While talking to her make a note of things which she missed in her childhood and which she wants to do. Arrange for it, and fulfill her dead dreams.

42) Go Pink Instead Of Red

For a change buy things which are pink: cards, papers, or whatever. Everything should be pink. Celebrate the day with a difference.

43) Perfumes

Which female won’t love this? But please make sure the fragrance is pleasing NOT killing. And ask her NOT to pour the complete bottle on herself in one go.

44) Jewelry

If you’ve got money then this could be a real good option for you. Please think about looks first and do not compromise with quality. If your pockets do not allow this then do not choose this option.

45) Custom Mugs

Get your message printed on a coffee mug and gift it to her. This long lasting gift will surely t your thoughts to her mind every time she uses it.

46) Just a ‘Few’ Calls

While she is at work call her every hour and tell her how important she is to you. Your confirmations will be very pleasing for her.

47) Propose a Visit To Her Family

Propose a visit to her family and throw the idea of celebrating the day with them. Do remember that if she isn’t that close to her family, this idea can have its opposite effects too.

48 ) Prepare Tons Of Gossip Topics For Her

I am sure girls will bash me at this point but believe me a full day of gossip and a smile to everything she said will make the day for her. Try it!

49) A Cute “Little” Teddy Bear

Somehow girls prefer hugging a teddy instead of hugging a real human. So try this and note the word little, as size matters in this case. Buy a smaller teddy instead of the large fat ugly bear!

50) Chocolate At Last

I never wanted to include the generic gifts in this list, so I saved this for the end. This evergreen gift is always a life saver if you forgot to buy a Valentine’s day gift for her.

The Bonus Tip (I always prefer this)

51) Make Every Day A Valentine’s Day!

Yeah! I still haven’t understood the concept of Valentine’s Day. Why do you need that one day to make things special. Care for her daily and care for her like their won’t be any other day.

You read the above tips, and now do read the precautions listed below as your one silly mistake can mess up your complete day.

1) Do not repeat your gifts every year, or on every occasion. It’s better to buy a different gift for her birthday than what you bought for her on Valentine’s Day.

2) Do not leave her alone with your friends.

3) Never buy something to which she is allergic.

4) Do not give her a gift that you bought for someone else.

5) Do NOT fart when with her!

Happy Valentine’s Day

Let me start with a silly question. Do you like chocolates?

Ever gave a thought to the process, which you follow while eating a chocolate? Do you know that the taste of chocolate holds the secret to an everlasting love life? Below, I will discuss the process of eating the chocolate and then relate that process to your love life. Read on…

Step 1 - Your brain sends a stimulus saying it wants chocolate.

Step 2 - You buy the chocolate.

Step 3 - You unwrap the chocolate.

Step 4 - You eat the chocolate.

Step 5 - The chocolate starts its journey from your tongue to your throat.

Step 6 - It ends up in your stomach and you are done.

Okay. The above steps were slightly silly, but they hold with them some unsaid truths of nature. Read the above steps once again, and figure out during which one of them you found yourself enjoying the chocolate the most. Which were they?

Through Step 4 and step 5, from when you put the chocolate in your mouth to when it traveled down your throat, was the time when you were actually tasting your chocolate. Once in stomach (step 6), it was all gone.

And why am I saying these things?

Because I want you to prevent your relationship to end up in your stomach. Roll through a flashback, and recall the moment when you first felt your emotions towards her: the time when you two hesitated while speaking to each other even though their was so much to say, the moment when you were lost in her dreams and you slipped down a step of the staircase . . .

Won’t you love for those days to come back? Well, we cannot actually bring back something that is gone, but what we can do is slow down the current erosion of our relationships. I am not asking you to avoid eating chocolates, but I want you to re-create those special moments of excitement over and over again.

So next time when you are with her, be only with her and leave everything else behind you.

If you are married, then try and re-create that first night after marriage once again. You will have to convince her for this, and I am sure she won’t say no. Always love her more than you loved her yesterday. Love her like there won’t be another tomorrow.

So, savor and hold on to the taste of that chocolate for as long as possible. Enjoy it to the fullest.

Warning: While you are busy bringing back those old moments of bliss please do not overdo them! You will ruin everything.