the Senorita | Discovering Her

A smiling female face is always appreciated by males. In fact, many go on to say that they are ready to do anything for that one smile. While in the early stages of a relationship males try to bring smiles on her face, and whenever she is upset they try their best to make her feel better. But, as the relationship progresses the excitement starts fading and an on-going dull mood starts to frustrate him. The result is either that he prefers to leave her all alone, or else shouts her and blames her for everything wrong.

He tries to point out how concerned he is for their relationship as well as for her; yet, it seems as if that is never enough for her. Once the dark clouds move on from over her head, he starts enjoying her company again. Men at this stage need to understand the opposite sex. They are human beings also, and bad days come there way also.

Females have the gift of adding romance (or color to be precise) to a relationship, and also love sharing their problems with someone they can trust. Although very good at reciprocating in similar ways, as a relationship progresses males lean more towards materialistic means in order to keep the relationship lively. To accommodate this change, they start working harder and in turn fail to share some valuable time with their significant other.

When a relationship is in its prime time, is when she needs him the most. The biggest mistake will be ignoring her during this sensitive period because it will only end up in newly developed trust issues from her side.

Males at this point think that she is expecting too much from him, even though he is already working day and night for their relationship. He wants her to “adjust” to his newly found way of making her happy, and if she rejects it he gets confused, in turn upsetting her too. What all males really just need to do is sit next to her, postpone all other commitments and listen to her. His hand on her shoulder is the ultimate medicine to heal her mood.

If men have some concern for their relationships, then all they need to do is remain consistent with their old behavior (the behavior with which she fell in love with.) The day you change your natural behavior in order to improve the circumstances is the day you will mess up everything. Be with her in every kind of situation and that is all she wants from you.

Science has proved that 5% of a human’s brain is enough to do the listening job, when someone is speaking. That is the reason we are able to continue with our work while talking on phone, and the same reason explains why we can chat online with four different people simultaneously (though the Alt + Tab keys on the keyboard do contribute to making this job easier). Similarly, it is characteristic of man to divide his brain with more than one kind of work at one particular time. But, men should understand that regardless of how well this multi-tasking might get them through their other daily pursuits, when it comes to women your mind better be absolutely focused on her.

I remember the times when my friends used to share their problems with me, and I used to listen to them while simultaneously concentrating on anything else I needed to get done. As a result, my suggestions for them used to be incomplete. Once they implemented my advice, they either messed up a situation and created a potential break-up, or broke up all together. I realized that these mishaps took place partly because I wasn’t paying complete attention to the problems they needed assistance with.

So, once I made up my mind and started to actually listen to my friends with full dedication, it was only natural that I found a drastic transformation in the end results. It wasn’t as much that I was able to solve every problem after making this change, as how better I could make my friends feel about the situation just by paying complete attention to the issue they were discussing with me. Also, I was making new friends, and gaining more trust amongst people I already knew.

Similar situations occur when any female (who trusts you) shares her thoughts with you. By sharing their thoughts they are able to find an outlet for whatever is bothering them. But for this to happen successfully, they need complete attention of the man they are talking to. A man may argue that he was listening to her by repeating whatever she said; although, as stated earlier make a complete record of what they are listening to, people only need to use 5% of their brains, which means that the other part of the brain can continue concentrating on other pursuits. The problem is… this isn’t called full dedication.

Likewise, many times a female might argue that mentally you aren’t with her even though physically your body is. A male counter attacks by stating that the presence of his body near her translates as him being with her. But what she is really looking for is the presence of his soul near her, and not just his body.

Men need to understand why women talk, and they need to pay full attention to them when they do talk. Next time when she feels like sharing something, put a temporary end to anything else you were doing, or were planning to do at the time, and just listen to her. Your hand on her shoulder, gestures to confirm that you are listening, plus eye contact are enough to make her feel happy.