the Senorita | Discovering Her

“A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears.”

Males are assumed to be the stronger of the two sexes living on planet earth, while in reality this assumption holds true only when it comes to physical strength (although Angelina Jolie might prove this false in some cases). Males won’t agree, but actually the truth is that mentally men aren’t as strong as they are physically. And they try to compensate for this weakness by increasing their physical power and competence.

When in a relationship his deepest fear is that he is incompetent. While he wants to take care of the female he loves, he is also afraid of performing up to the mark. He starts to compensate for this by increasing his power and competence. The hidden problem is that his increased power will succeed in suppressing his fear of being incompetent but only for some short period. Later on when he will find himself in some similar situation again, where he won’t be able to give her what she wants, then his confidence will crumble. He will start running away from her just because he is afraid of hurting her.

If on the other hand males knew what the reality was then they would love to make efforts for her without thinking about the end results. Someone needs to tell them that women care for the efforts, which males make for her and NOT the end results. She would love to see him working hard for her, and somehow, if his hard work fails to give some fruitful results, then too she won’t ever want him to be discouraged.

Failures are a part of life and if you have failed then you must learn from those mistakes and gear up for your next fight. Mostly males are afraid of giving just because he thinks he might have to face failures or disapprovals or corrections. This happens because in childhood his small achievements either went unnoticed or weren’t appreciated. This forced him to develop the feeling that he might fail again even though he is a grown up now.

This is the time when he shouldn’t stop trying because it is his efforts, which count instead of the end result. Please do make a note of this.

This might seem simple but sometimes simple ways can result to be huge movers. All you need is guts and some preparation.

Request her to be with you for couple of hours. I don’t really mean you go for a candle night dinner but ask her to stay with you. For those few hours talk to her about her, about yourself, about something which she cherishes. After some time passes and you get the feeling that now her brain is totally on you than go for it. Ask her if she has a band-aid. Tell her that you have fallen in love with her and so you need one. Don’t smile while this happens. Watch carefully how she reacts. That reaction will be her answer.

How did you propose her? Or do you have any unique ideas of proposing her? I would love to hear those in comments below or maybe you would like to tell me that in private.

“The best way to help a man grow is to let go of trying to change him in any way.”MarsVenus.com

Well, if you are one of the regular readers of this blog then you must be knowing very well why woman talk? Males on the other hand are totally different. They like to go silent whenever they are confused. Females prefer sharing their problems if they are confused. This is their style of cooling down while men prefer to stay lonely for few hours in order to cool off their nerves.

Problems arise because females try to compare such situations (of males going silent) with theirs. She starts thinking that by staying silent he is trying to deny his problems. This is enough for her to get tensed. Females care a lot for her man and even if he is suffering from smallest of the problems she wants to solve those.

He needs to explain to her that he might be upset but he is capable of overcoming the problem himself and all what he needs is few hours to sit lonely and think. Tell her that you want to share the problem but first you need some time to cool down. Once you are in your senses you will talk.

Instead once he is upset and she asks, “What is the problem?” he puts an awkward end to the problem by saying, “I am OK.” These three words are enough for her to think the worst. She starts wondering what it is he is worried about and why isn’t he ready to share his problem. The situation goes from bad to worse when he repeatedly denies her request of sharing his problems. She feels like he is ignoring her, as he does not trust her. This marks the beginning of the end of the relationship.

Thus as explained earlier in this article, whenever men are tensed they should explain to her that they will share their problem but first they need some time to cool off. Try this and you will be amazed to see how she willingly gives you the space, which you need.

“An excitement is required to win over your love and similarly an excitement is required to continue living with your love.”

Increase in number of divorces after marriage or breakup even before the couple marries is the hard fact through which currently the human race is passing. Getting into relationships ‘n’ number of times and then breaking up just because their better half becomes their bitter half is the de-facto of relationships today. Although both the man and the woman are responsible for breakups in relationships, here we will try to analyze how change in behavior of males could force a change in behavior of females.

While the relationship is in its infancy men can even stand upside down to bring a smile on her face. He will call her daily, keep note of the small problems which she is facing and leave all his important work just to make her feel warm, loving and cozy. He unknowingly understands the fact that she loves to share her thoughts with him. He would listen to her and later on regularly make the same mistake i.e. he starts solving those problems even when she expects him to listen to her problems only.

Let us take an example of an unmarried couple Bob and Jenny who have been dating for almost two years. On one regular Saturday evening date the conversation starts:

Bob: You’re looking tired?

Jenny: Yeah, there was double work this week at office.

Bob: Why don’t you leave your job?

Jenny: But I love it.

Bob: What is so good in it when it leaves you tired?

Jenny: This was a rare case honey, else I love my work. It pays me well and helps me explore myself.

Bob: I will give you the money you need but you won’t work from now on. You need to take care of yourself.

Jenny: You cannot rule me this way. Sorry but I cannot leave my work.

(Silence prevailed there after…)

Here Bob cares for Jenny and hence said all what you read but he overlooked the fact that Jenny never wanted a solution for her problem. She just wanted him to listen to her problem and expected a reply like “You are a hard working girl dear and this is why I love you. Just tell me whenever you need me.”

In such situations (shown in conversations above), when she complains that he always thinks against her wishes, he will go on to reason that she is being too critical and demanding even when he is trying to solve her problems. He feels unappreciated and confused. And after that he won’t ever realize how easily he shifted from being close and caring to being distant and unresponsive.

We have also talked about how men start giving importance to larger sized gifts once their relationship grows and to earn for those huge gifts they forget to give time to their better half. Once again, they become distant even when they are working for her.

Hence males need to realize that she loved him because of the excitement and understanding nature, which he showed. He needs to continue with that old style of his if he wants the charm of their relationship to continue.

Have you seen those name plates outside houses which say ‘Mr. & Mrs. Smith’? This informs you that Smith family lives in that particular house. How about you having your own name plate?

Arrange for a name plate which says ‘Mr. & Mrs. <Your Last Name>’ and hang it outside your home in a way that it is clearly visible to someone who comes in. Then invite her to visit your house and she is bound to comment on that name plate considering you are single! This is the right time to express your feelings for her. Firstly ask her if she likes that stuff and then move on to how much you like her company. Just be gentle and confident when you say those words.

Are you looking at travel deals for a honeymoon or searching for Hawaii vacation packages for a secret get-a-way? Maybe Mexico beach vacations  are more your style? Isn’t it time for that vacation you’ve been talking about?

How did you propose her? Or do you have any unique ideas of proposing her? I would love to hear those in comments below or maybe you would like to tell me that in private.