the Senorita | Discovering Her

Love is what can be felt not told,
Love can be given not sold.
It comes to you when you least expect it,
And it leaves you when you most need it. – Anonymous.

Love ceases to be a pleasure, when it ceases to be a secret. Every little boy and girl knows about love. It is only his or her capacity to suffer from it that increases. A pity beyond all telling is hidden in the heart of love.

Love is, of all passions, the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart and the sense.

The magic of first love is our ignorance that it can never end. It has been rightly said that love robs those have it, of their wit, and gives it to those who have none. Love’s pleasure lasts for moments but love’s sorrow lasts all through life. When a man is in love he endures more than at other times; he submits to everything. We are all born for love…it is the principle of existence and its only end. Love is a condition in which happiness of other person is essential to your own joy. True love is like ghosts, who everybody talks about and few have seen. There’s nothing half so sweet in life: as love’s young dream. Love’s comes unseen – we only see it go. Love is like moon; when it does not increase, it decreases. In her first passion, women love her lover; in all others, all she loves is love. It is impossible to love and be wise. Love arives on tiptoe bangs the door when it leaves.

To be in love is merely to be in state of perceptual anaesthasia – to mistake an ordinary young man for a Greek god or an ordinary young woman for a goddess. First love is a kind of vaccination which saves a man from catching the complaint a second time. The more we love, the nearer we are to hate. Love is blind; lovers cannot see the pretty follies that they commit.

Couple of quotes to conclude the sensation of love:

“He, who for love had undergone,
The worst that can befall,
Is happier thousandfold than one,
Who never loved at all ”

“What’s earth with all its art, verse, and music worth – compared with love found, gained and kept ”

“Beloved let us love one another: for love is of God;
And everyone that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God; for God is love” – BIBLE

This article is a guest post from Pulkit, a passionate print media writer, who is trying hard to switch to this mad planet of bloggers. He happens to be a great friend of mine and possess all the ingredients to be a famous blogger. Do check his new blog on blogger.

“Some men have thousands of reasons why they cannot do what they want to when all they need is one reason why they can.” – Willis Whitney

Committing mistakes is human nature and those who don’t make mistakes aren’t human. It is that simple. People tend to get demoralized from their failures and the end result is that they start avoiding those situations (after all this is the easiest way out.) Avoiding a particular situation might give him peace for sometime but some day he will have to face that situation once again and this is the time when he will stand there as a loser. So the best way out to win over your failures is to face them.

Similarly when in any relationship males try their best to make her happy and in the process they tend to commit mistakes which might hurt her (although this is rarely true as she also cares for him.) Such mistakes force him to avoid giving as he develops a feeling that he is incapable of giving. This increases the distance between the two and for no big reason the relationship weakens.

At times she might be stuck with some problem and would expect him to help her out with it. Now due to his male characteristics he will eagerly jump in so as to solve that problem. But if he fails to come up with some solution (and to add to this if she says you fail every time) than such a situation is enough to demoralize him and he start avoiding the other chances of helping her out.

All such situations mentioned above have one root cause; he cares for her and wants her to be happy. If somehow he finds out that he might be the reason behind her sadness then he prefers to withdraw that reason away from her i.e. withdraws him away from her.

Males here must understand that she cares for his efforts, NOT the end results. She is impressed to see that he is eager to bring happiness on her face. He needs to see the reality, he is human and mistakes are a part of his human nature. For her, relationship is more important than work and they care equally for him as he cares for her. She won’t ever be happy if he is demoralized and to confirm many times she would say “you tried, and that is enough for me.”

Males must never let confusions and misunderstandings creep into their relationship just because of some regular mistakes, which he made (and for which she never cared.)

It is OK to make mistakes and it is OK to fail.

I have pointed this out before and want to point it out once again: for females relationship is more important than work and technology. Even though these days the other way round might be true for some females still at some point of time it is the relationship which will matter more for her. This is the only reason why there are more cases of females complaining about the missing effects of the relationship. She cares for the relationship, which she is in with her partner, and hence, expresses her concern.

She loves to share her problems because this is a nice way for her to come close to her partner. At the time when she was talking about her problem she didn’t expected any solutions (because if she had expected any then she would have said that straight.) She is stressed when facing some problem and by sharing her thoughts she is able to find relief from her tension. This might be confusing for males because for him sharing his problems means expecting a solution and once she shares her problems with him he starts looking for solutions. Although what she wanted from him was his ears listening to her problems and boost her confidence.

Males have the habit of solving every problem related to them as this gives a boost to their confidence but they should prefer biting their tongues when they feel the urge to solve the problems, which she is talking about. Men need to place them in the situation where they know a solution to some problem but someone rejects that solution and asks them to go the other way. They will get frustrated and same is the case with females. They get frustrated when something is forced on them even though they know the way out.

Thus, instead of providing a solution to her problems he should prefer to listen to her and motivate her. A sentence like “This seems to be a tough problem but I know you are capable enough to come out of it. Whenever you need me just tell me.” is enough to boost her confidence and is enough to empower her so that she can handle the problem herself. She feels cherished when she is praised and this is exactly what she was looking for when she shared her problems. So next time listen patiently to what she says and do not always jump in to solve her problems.

Men and women have totally different ways of thinking and this is fact. This variation on their thoughts clearly shows on their figure of speech. It is almost like both men and women went to different schools in childhood and both consulted different books. This is the only reason why they misunderstood each other so often and many romantic moments ended up in cold wars.

If men were able to understand the hidden meaning behind her sentences then the amount of misunderstandings will decrease and he will start listening to her and give more importance to her thoughts. He needs to understand that with a frustrated brain anyone can go on to say things, which she actually doesn’t mean. Males prefer expressing their feelings to the point but females have the habit of expecting him to understand whatever she means even though she might not say it directly.

If she complains that she isn’t getting enough romance then he thinks she wants to say that he isn’t romantic. This looks to him like pointing the finger on him. He gets confused that why is she complaining even though they had been living a romantic life. Here the real meaning of more romance was romance at that particular instant of time. It was her way of expressing her feelings and by giving it the face of a complaint he totally destroyed the moment.

Similarly some day she might complain that they are dating less these days even though they went out on a date the last week itself. Again, here she wasn’t complaining but wanted to express that she wants to go out with him at that very moment itself.

These two examples make it clear that how literally translating her sentences could easily confuse a man because for him speech is the means of conveying fact and information.

One more very general and confusing sentence is when she says “You don’t listen to me.” He might at times quickly repeat what she had said just to show that he was listening but she meant something else. She wanted him to know that he wasn’t able to understand the hidden meaning of her sentences. By saying “I am not being heard” she means she is not being understood, and wants a confirmation from him that he is interested in whatever she is saying.

This concludes that men need to be more thoughtful when it comes to understanding her. They need to understand that she isn’t complaining even though it looks like she is.

[image via deviant art]